saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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