I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
