I love black thongs
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
