i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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