How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
