oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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