i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize