You're completely useless in the revolution.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
