I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
