i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize