Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
