HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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