No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
