guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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