he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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