Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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