Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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