meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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