Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
