We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
