Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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