your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
