Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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