Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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