coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
