I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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