he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
