He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
