Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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