i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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