you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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