This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
