are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
