My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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