I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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