dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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