My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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