Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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