I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
