i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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