I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
