Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
