i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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