Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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