names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
