toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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