It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
