I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
