He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize