she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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