names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
