return my video game
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
