I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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