After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
