I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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