I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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