god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
