literally had 100 drinks last night.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
