do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His hands were made for my vagina.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
