I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
