i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
